Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
