Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
