Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize