this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
