Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
