I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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