I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
