Tell her she can't have a vagina
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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