My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
