if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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