at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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