New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The adults are the big ones right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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