She said her name was "party"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
