And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
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She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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