He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
