I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
