This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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