omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
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Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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