Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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