I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
That was before I lit my hair on fire
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize