The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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