Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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