there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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