Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
