Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
