all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
