Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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