when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize