problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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