Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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