Screwed.edu
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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