return my video game
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...