Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

He disabled his match.com account in front of me

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(917): He disabled his match.com account in front of me http://tfl.nu/yzdn

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(360): View more from Washington

we are all sexual creatures

(951): View more from California

yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.

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(360): we are all sexual creatures (951): yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any. http://tfl.nu/bk7c

Replies (9) Good night (582) Bad night (2690)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.

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(717): Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does. http://tfl.nu/07b3

Replies (34) Good night (2192) Bad night (1177) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

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(773): I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader. http://tfl.nu/8khu

Replies (13) Good night (3707) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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(386): View more from Florida

According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.

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(386): According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death. http://tfl.nu/q8lg

Replies (25) Good night (632) Bad night (6287) Order T-Shirt
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(563): View more from Iowa

please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.

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(563): please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death. http://tfl.nu/862e

Replies (10) Good night (1801) Bad night (3815) Order T-Shirt
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(974): View more from

You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.

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(974): You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it. http://tfl.nu/orv6

Replies (28) Good night (7819) Bad night (716)
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(217): View more from Illinois

you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...

(1-217): View more from Illinois

please don't ever take me to a strip club again...

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(217): you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals... (1-217): please don't ever take me to a strip club again... http://tfl.nu/2ds8

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(850): View more from Florida

Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.

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(850): Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please. http://tfl.nu/1q4n

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.

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(306): Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight. http://tfl.nu/dfco

Replies (33) Good night (1704) Bad night (4752) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.

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(250): the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember. http://tfl.nu/upty

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out

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(412): I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out http://tfl.nu/phlg

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(650): View more from California

We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.

(650): View more from California

And so far nothing been broken!

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(650): We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum. (650): And so far nothing been broken! http://tfl.nu/0yij

Replies (4) Good night (2182) Bad night (300)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines

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(901): Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines http://tfl.nu/paji

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(408): View more from California

I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.

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(408): I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment. http://tfl.nu/nl3d

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