its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.