Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
