Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
