hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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