My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
