I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize