Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
