In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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