your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
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i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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