I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm at about main and main street
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
