She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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