I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
