ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
