So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
