So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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