she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
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I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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