I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Damn victory sex feels great
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
