Ambien. No doubt about it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize