thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
