My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
