awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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