I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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