Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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