Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
someone owes me an orgasm
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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