So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
