I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
