But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
4 words: hood of his car
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
