I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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