Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
