My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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