the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sorry my hands just texted you
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Two words: blizzard sex
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
