i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
