I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
